Thursday, June 17, 2010

i seem to have lost my gloves.

I have been monumentally right about things I was trying so desperately to be wrong about. I walked home at one thirty this morning crying and laughing endlessly. Three campus security officers passed me and I was sure they were going to take me to the drunk tank. I laughed because I have built myself around an illusion, and given my love to a creature who fancies itself tortured by me, so endlessly that it's gone feral again.

And because of my choice to do this, I am alone again.

Losing one glove
is certainly painful,
but nothing
compared to the pain,
of losing one,
throwing away the other,
and finding
the first one again.

--piet heim

I've been avoiding this blog like the plague, because I couldn't face myself. I'm a bad liar.

That's all I've got tonight. Being right makes me so, so sleepy. And tomorrow I've got to get up, brush my teeth, and find some gloves.

2 comments:

meg fee said...

life is impossible.

sigh.

i hope things get a little bit better. and i'm glad you're not anything but honest!

i started history of love and got way-layed, but i promise to pick it back up and let you know what i think.

xo.

Anonymous said...

Life is sometimes about lying to yourself and to others. Sometimes you need it to grow. Don't let yourself have it too hard :)

I'd love it if you'd check out my blog sometime! withmonsters.blogspot.com