funnier ways to put off writing your philosophy paper (because i still had 10 minutes)

boot) stop using numbers to demarcate sequence, make up your own sequential device and piss on millenia of mathematical progress. boot comes before one. the end.

car) realize that creating your own sequential devise is a perfect demonstration of conceptualism, and that you actually ARE using philosophy and use that to rationalize spending even more time blogging, because you are getting "warmed up for your paper"

nugget) realize that getting warmed up for your paper is a very important process which you have neglected far too often in the past, and suppose that it might greatly improve your writing skills.

pantaloon) attempt to stretch your brain, fingers, and wrist muscles in preparation for this epic writing journey

nerfherder) let wrist stretching lead to body stretching, which leads to side cramp because you ate WAY too many almonds and did not wait an hour before physical exertion.

proctologist) hold your belly and moan lightly while typing a blog about procrastination. realize, while typing blog, that the word wrist is positively absurd, and needs a sixth letter because it looks naked and vulnerable and wrong.

pork) begin to mentally philosophize about nakedness and vulnerability in human beings and the universal need to protect them.

bandoleer) become distraught because you have realized that you are philosophizing, and obviously warmed up and should probably start your paper.

598)  seek counsel from your goldfish about angst, but realize that there is an epic youtube video where some guy freaks out over world of warcraft and realize that staring at other people's problems is wayyyy better than paying attention to your own.



10) realize that can never be your life, stop talking to your goldfish, begin using real numbers again, do not think about naked wrists, and chastely begin your paper, which is due in 12 hours.

zeus help me.